One of the four major branches of emotional intelligence (according to John D. Mayer and Peter Salovey) is the ability to reflectively regulate or manage emotions. This applies to managing your own emotions rather than those of other people. According to research by this team, people who understand their own emotions and “are confident about their abilities to regulate their affect, seem to be able to repair their moods more quickly and effectively following failure.” [1]

There are two things about this finding that piqued by interest. As regulating one’s own emotions and repairing one’s own mood are basically the same ability, these two skills should definitely be found in the same people. However, people only “seem” to do this. The person who manages their own emotions may appear to minimize disappointment, frustration and anger while being disturbed as the person who frets, sulks and rants after their plans bite…