Keep it moving

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One of the solutions touted to teach writing to the literary challenged adolescent has been the use of a device called the “freeze frame.” Named after the cinematographic technique that stops the action for added intensity. It was intended to add detail and drama. The students focus on writing a detailed description of a scene at one particular brief period of time.  This device is also supposed to stop them from simply telling the story as if they were talking. Of course, among real writers, crafting a story by scenes has been around a long time. The difference is they do not end up with a lot of beautifully written incoherent, little pieces because they understand the art of the transition.

Recently, I listened as a teacher tried to define the transitional phrase so that students could find them it a short story. She kept saying “They make the story move along.” She was right even though she could not explain clearly why an author must use them. This is where writing fiction actually helps. When I write a story I don’t want to bore the reader with every detail of the main character’s life. I concentrate on describing an important event, and then skip ahead to the next one. But, I must include a transition to show a change in time, place, event or idea in order not to confuse the reader. This keeps the story moving.

Last year I had a student who could write quirky and charming essays but she thought the only transition available was “and then.” She also frequently forgot that periods existed. I would have her replace every other “and then” with a period so she could start a new sentence. Still, the monotony of the repeating the transition was marring her writing. There needed to be some way to get her to vary her words other than handing her a standard list from which she could randomly choose different transitions.

Students first collect their own set of transitional phrases (10-20). Then they look at each sentence of a composition and ask:

  1. Is there a change in time ?
  2. Is there a change in place?
  3. Is there a change in events or actions?

Next, they indicate the kind of change made (if any) by writing down the question number above the sentence. Then, they insert suitable transitions into their composition. Too many transitions can be overwhelming, so students just keep the ones that make the composition flow. This tedious procedure usually doesn’t have to be done more than two or three times before students start including the phrases without prompting.

Another  important point to consider is figuring out when you have said enough and are ready to transition. One or two sentences is usually not enough. But, that is all some students want to do. (Hence the emphasis on ‘freeze frame’ style of writing which is supposed to force them to fill in the details.) However, there are times you want tightly written exposition that covers days, months, even years of events in a paragraph. The use of transitions should probably increase to make this passage of time clear.

Transitions can express the relation of an ideas – in fiction as wells as term papers, reports etc. For example when you are letting the reader know what a character is thinking, a fitting phrase to express change bolsters the internal conflict. Try assigning a composition that requires students to create an internal dialog – a kind of self-argument. Have students mark sentence that need transitions because.

  1. There a change in ideas
  2. The idea is different or unexpected
  3. The idea is a result of the previous thought
  4. The person is internally stating a reason or cause

Remind the students that transitions to cue the reader, which actually makes comprehending what they have written easier.

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The writing game

breaking game (3)I have yet to see an app that adequately teaches and assesses writing skills. However, the realm of computer games can help. The students don’t play a ‘writing’ game, but they write the scenarios of the game itself. The more sophisticated video games are like movies – they require characters, setting and the framework of a plot for the various scenarios. Although, students may not be able to produce the game, they can still design it.

The first thing a student needs to write about is the concept: What is the game about? Is it a treasure hunt, a battle, a race or an alternate world in which one must figure out how to gather the necessities for survival? “First-person” games are easier to create than role play, which require a cast of characters along with their motivations. Still the following is necessary for “first-person” games.

1) Write a brief  historical over view or backstory that sets the stage for the game. All other descriptions need to be consistent with the backstory.

2) Next, illustrate how the player moves through the game and goes from one level to the next. This should be done as a flowchart with alternate branching.

3) Describe the initial setting, including camera angle as seen by the player. This should include both visuals and sound.  Students should describe at least two additional settings that the player can move into.

4) Describe the important objects in each setting that the player can use. It is crucial to detail what the object can do, including limitations.

5) Describe the non-player characters or NPCs that the player encounters during the game. These can be foes, accomplices or neutral characters that change depending on how the player interacts with them. This description lists NPC’s responses to various interactions.

6) Finally the student is ready to write the storyboard script which is similar to writing movie scenes.

This is not a short process; the class may spend a week or two, or three, or more depending on the depth of the backstory, complexity of the flow chart and number of settings that must by described. However, this is an excellent way to get students involved in an extended effort to create a product that involves many of the same skills required to produce term papers.

Of course this brings up another point – plagiarism. There are many existing games, and websites or even books with backstories for these games. Students who do not want to put in all the work, will be tempted to copy these.  Internet searches can bring up some reference, to check. However, first you will want to define the extent of copying that results plagiarism so students will know what is expected. Secondly, you must realize that no one creates something completely original. All of the games scripts will refer to things that students have taken from their own experience with games.

For more information and examples read Writing a video game script/storyline by Will Kaliff.
http://www.gameinformer.com/membergroups/game_informer/writers_guild/the_indie_game_developers_group/b/weblog/archive/2010/05/06/writing-a-video-game-script-storyline.aspx

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Looking for an antihero

Picture 036 antihero 2Most of the students are already dreading their “special” assignment. As they walk dawdling into the room and see the prompt “Write about someone who was a good influence on you” the moans begin to crescendo. Many students quickly run out of different ways to say their selected individual is a really great friend or always there for me. Then, they turn in a repetitive fifty word essay. Others blatantly admit, “There is no one I admire.”

It doesn’t matter how this prompt is worded:  Describe a person you admire, Write about someone you look up to. Students still struggle to write cohesive and interesting essays about positive role models. So I try to help, “Tell me about the person you hate the least.” Then, I tried turning this around. “Tell me about the person you hate the most.”  Interesting responses. Evidently this was much easier to write. However, I must admit that I have to lay down some ground rules for this assignment to prevent any possible fallout.

  1. Any references to real people and places need to be altered for the protection of the students themselves.
  2. The composition is considered fiction even though it is based on real events. (Students write the standard disclaimer at the beginning.)
  3. The composition needs to describe events so the reader can understand the student’s attitude toward the character (not just a torrent of name calling).
  4. Use of profanity is limited to what is acceptable for a school paper (which also makes it difficult to fill the paper with name calling).
  5. The composition must include an incident or description that also shows something good about the character. (Think about something the character does that you wish you could do, or something that makes you sympathetic to the character.)

Students struggle the most with the third and fifth requirements. I’m not surprised. The challenges of relating events in way than elicits feeling and creating characters with some amount of depth exist for writers at almost all levels. Students will need to return to their initial rough draft to expand and refine in order to meet this challenge. After they become at least somewhat comfortable with this kind of writing they should be able to transfer lessons learned to the ubiquitous “Write about the person you admire the most” prompt. Of course, that would be so much easier if there were more admirable people in this world.

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The rise and fall of…

2011_07 (38) 2Sit still in a swing, and it is a bit boring. Start moving, pumping with your arms and legs to move in an ever higher arc, and it becomes a thrill ride – at least until you become tired. Then let the swing glide under its own momentum for a while until you feel like kicking it into high gear again.

The plot of a good story works in much the same way. Sometimes we show students the simplified version of a story arc. The exposition at the beginning is a flat line until the rising action ascends to the point of the climax and then the denouement is downhill from there.

Actually, I have read excellent stories that started with a steep incline in action (like receiving a strong push from behind the moment you sit on the swing), with the exposition filled in later as the energy of that initial push leveled out.  Then, there were several ups and downs, before one last high reaching peak for the climax.Capture plot copy

So in reality the action in a story should rise and fall like a swing.  Although, it is not that simple either.  For example, how many times do you go up and down? Dozens of times on a real swing, but in a story you don’t want to make your readers dizzy.  I recommend to students writing short stories (2500 to 3500 words) that they chose one or two events to  create rising action in the story before hitting the high point. But I would not dizzy the reader with 25 to 30 events that rise and fall in a 50,000 word novel.  That is where the writer’s craft in creating a slowly rising tension comes into play.

Often we connect action with pace, or how much excitement/tension is occurring. However, in a plot it serves another purpose.   The closer the character seems to be in resolving the main conflict, the more the action rises. Main character tries to climb mountain, makes it half way up – action is rising. He falls down, breaks a leg and is sent back to base camp – action is falling.  The pace can quicken during falling action as well as rising action, but a continual habit of increasing pace without taking plot anywhere can make a story seem forced – exciting but empty.

Finally, there is the consideration of whether the problem will be resolved  happily with success or tragically with failure at the climax. The swings in action will still occur, but the change in pace is usually not as great in a tragedy. The failure is often a slow decline, rather than a swift collapse. The writer must foreshadow to let the reader know the tragic end is coming.

Trying to create a story without considering the events that cause the rise and fall is like trying to swing without using your arms and legs to pull and push. The breeze will blow you a little bit, maybe.

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What’s the problem?

Fredricksburg bridgeWhen students embark on writing fiction, they can typically handle coming up with characters and settings. The element that causes the greatest problem for the students is the problem  (a.k.a. the conflict). Reading fiction may be a form of escape from reality, but nobody seems particularly interested in reading about perfect characters in a perfect world.

Despite the fact that many teenagers’ lives are filled with the drama of friends, enemies and an endless change in relationships, these personal conflicts are often so spurious that the students do not even really know how to define them. If these everyday events are not related with verbal intonations of alternating intrigue, despair, glee and outrage, they just seem sort of ordinary and boring. But translating everyday conflicts into another world is precisely what good fiction writers typically do.

The conflict that the story centers around typically falls into one of four categories:

The protagonist against the environment. Basically the main character is in danger of dying due to a harsh environment (be it a desert island, or the surface of Mercury, or a flood which will pass in an hour). This kind conflict of can include animals, humans or aliens that intentionally make surviving even trickier. The climax frequently involves the main character returning to the safety of “civilization,” or in a longer story building his or her own society.

The protagonist against the antagonist(s). The main character must fight and win a battle (not always physical) against one or more others. It doesn’t have to be a fight to the death. In fact, the combat can be as ordinary as a board game that one student wrote about from the perspective of the playing pieces.  This is also the basic plot of a love triangle, in which one person wins affection from the desired one, and the other loses out. It is also often the conflict found in a romance. There simply has to be a competition in which one character wins.

The protagonist against society.  Many teenagers feel they live their lives this way. However, in reality it is more of a matter of the younger generation trying to dissociate themselves from the older. The true protagonist against society plot is more like you and me against the world. With such a large crowd fighting the main character, the story usually takes longer. This is typically the kind of plot found in dystopian novels.

The protagonist against himself. The self-embattled protagonist is the story of internal change. The major events are “ah-ha” moments when the main character realizes a truth about himself/herself. Coming of age novels are often based on this plot variation. While writing about enlightenment has the advantage of having the least predictable ending, it takes more skill to create a character that can keep the the reader interested simply by changing.

The longer and more complex the story,  the more these different kinds of conflicts can intertwine, but one of these themes remains the overriding main problem that must be overcome for the story to end.

And what if the problem overcomes the main character? That is a tragedy. Which leads to the next topic –  action and outcomes in the plot.

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Hiding the truth in plain sight

Dusan Bicanski  “I don’t get it. It just about a bunch of animals, but the pigs are mean.” I still cringe when I hear students make comments like this. My own children were introduced to George Orwell’s Animal Farm, when they were twelve. Their perception of the book varied. One enjoyed the complex politics expressed in simple language; the other liked the believable humans he portrayed using animals. However, both were intrigued with the idea of stealthily writing about other people disguised as something else. How could I get my students to understand this? It was time to have them create their own allegories.

In order to write an allegory the students have to make certain decisions. The first is to choose an actual situation that they feel strongly about and series of events that demonstrates what they feel. I encourage student to use real events from their own life.  For example, a student may believe that the pressure caused by grades decreases learning, because he did a half-way job on a really creative art project in order to have enough time to complete math homework.  Often the situation concerns peers or family, and the feelings are very negative. I try not to shrink from this kind of content, for it is the source of for many authors’ writings. However, I tell them to use generic descriptions of their characters in the outline.  The final allegory will still express their feelings even if the characters are transformed and renamed.

Next, the students need to select an ordinary setting that can be used to demonstrate the relationships in their series of events. Animals work well for characters and classes of people. Sometimes we take a field trip to the one of the science classrooms to watch the birds, fish, rats, snakes, etc. Students take notes on the apparent characteristics of each if the species to help them determine what part each should play in the allegory. The harder part is creating a concrete image for an abstract idea such honesty, creativity or pressure. Encourage students to select generic people, animals, objects, or events that they connect with these ideas first before determining the setting.

The outline below is only a framework. Many students need this to start their writing so I usually provide one, but I do not restrict students to using it.

Writing an allegory

What situation (happenings, people, rules) do you feel strongly about?  Choose one that has a great effect on you – either for good or bad.

List all characters  and objects  that portray groups or ideas. (at least 3).   How will you portray each in allegory?

Describe the setting you will be using in the allegory:  the place, what it looks like, and the time.

Describe a chain the events that occurred to make you feel that way. Include at least three events. (Each one will be at least a paragraph in the allegory)  Use same  Parts of plot as described earlier:  Conflict, Event 1, Event 2, Climax, Conclusion or what happens to the main character at the end.

Photo by Dusan Bicanski

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What do you do with the dead body?

tiger b

The freshman in the learning lab was finally beginning to adequately describe people with believable motives, but had run into a problem with his narrative. I was quietly explaining to the student that in his story many people saw Jack and his supposed “friend” leave go to the restaurant at the zoo. Only the friend came back, so the he was obviously the culprit. He either had to hide himself, so no one saw him near Jack, or do something with Jack’s body. “Okay,” He confidently announced, “I’m going to do something with the dead body.”

“What will you do with the dead body?” I asked.

By that time a nearby student and teacher were both staring at us in wide-eyed surprise.

When I first had students trying to create very short stories based on the genre they had read, I thought the mystery would be a challenge. Mysteries take a lot of planning and decision making.  Students must figure out the crime and motive and then decide when to allow the reader to uncover clues. However, many students took to the challenge. They felt they were producing something real, a story like so much of what they see in the media. Because many of the students I work with struggle with basics of writing I had to create a form they could use just to start. The form below is meant as a beginning, a concrete way of recording the basics of a mystery. I still encouraged students to go beyond it to – for example create more characters – so that they found the mystery interesting.

I did not require the students to write a murder mystery. The main characters could solve any kind of initially unexplained event. Most chose to write about a robbery or missing person. However, the student I was assisting wanted to create a classic murder mystery and now he had to figure out what to do about the body. Finally, he decided it was a good idea to make it look as if Jack’s death had resulted from a tangle with a tiger – after all the story was set in a zoo.

Writing a Mystery

Introduce setting

Describe place:  Where is the place? Give at least two details describing the place – such as what happens at the place, what the place look like. Describe time:  When is the time? Give at least two details describing the time – such as what events are occurring, time of day or season.

Remember the reader is expecting some of the details to provide clues to solve the mystery

Plan the crime

You must decide on the crime, or mysterious event, and who is responsible for it, even though you will not reveal the person until the very end.

What is the crime?

Who commits the crime and why do they do it?

What does the criminal do to make sure that they do not get caught?

Introduce characters

A mystery needs a main character, a victim and at least two suspects. The main character will solve the mystery. The victim is the person who has suffered from the crime. The suspects are people who may have committed the crime. The victim can be a suspect, too.

Describe main character:  Appearance, age, profession, special skills

Describe victim:  Appearance, age, profession, and how victim was hurt by crime

Describe suspect 1:  Appearance, age, profession, reason that suspect could commit crime.

Describe suspect 2:  Appearance, age, profession, reason that suspect could commit crime.

Plant the clues

You must decide which clues are discovered by the main character. Include at least three clues. One clue should be a false clue that is misleading.

Parts of plot

Introduction, background   – all characters important to plot must be described; especially the person committing the crime

Conflict  – usually the discovery of the crime

Event 1 – each event uncovers a clue or a possibly a red herring (false clue)

Event 2

Event 3

Climax – discovery of the person responsible for the crime  – perhaps in a dangerous manner for the person making this discovery

Conclusion – a way to wind down and perhaps tie up loose ends not explained by the discovery in the climax

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Keep it brief

Berlin12 088We were sitting in the conference room listen to the project director for a new educational e-learning venture aimed at the failing intercity public schools. “Now when you are putting together proposals write a short introduction – one hundred words or less. Then, use bullets to list main points. Keep it brief and to the point,” the team leader insisted. I’m sure that many students would prefer to write their mandatory state assessments essays or their senior English term paper in this same manner.

In secondary education the emphasis in writing is on including details: painting a descriptive picture of a scene, supporting claims with exact examples and quotes, explaining step by step how to perform a simple procedure. The plethora of papers in post-secondary education encourage even greater verbosity.  After all, no matter how quickly students can make sense of a topic they must still aim to reach the all important word count. In post-graduate writing use of abstruse language is expected; how else can one demonstrate their expertise?

Despite its extensiveness and depth, research papers written by students are rarely original in content. Students are expected to collect other’s ideas and regurgitate them in a ten page paper. They may learn from their time spent in research. However, the ideas have to be written down in order for them to receive credit. The resulting papers are usually not particularly useful for anyone to read. Sometimes we believe we are aiming students at the pinnacle of writing. However, the manner in which they are learning to write does not match what is expected of them after they leave school. How do we instruct students in the kind of writing most will actually be doing at work?

Rather than writing another personal narrative, detailed how-to instructions, or quote-filled research paper it may be wiser for them to study the principals of information mapping. This kind of writing is not based on paragraphs. Information mapping divides content in a way that makes it easier to recall and use. If a student goes on to work in the corporate world, the point of writing will be to provide new information to a specific audience in a direct and concise manner.

To practice writing in this manner, students must have a real reason to write. As a teacher/instructor assign them something that you have to write (lesson plan, curriculum outline, reference letter, etc.). Next, have them examine examples of writing such as the following:

  • Personal references/evaluations
  • Newsletters
  • Handbooks
  • Memorandum
  • Reference material
  • Conference briefs
  • Program evaluations

Then, have students discuss their current involvement with other groups of people such as teams, performing groups, civic organizations or clubs. Have them determine what the people in the group really need to know and which type of documents listed above would be the best way to disseminate this information. Finally, have them compose that business document and see if it achieves what they intended it to do. Of course, they will have to write the results in the form of an evaluation.

The first time students try to practice the principals of business writing will not be a quick and easy. Collecting data that is really needed and expressing information in well organized, concise form will take longer than the traditional wordy retelling of already known facts. Remind them that people are not going to bother to read what they have written unless they “keep it brief.”

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Classic fan fiction

sci-fi copy

During 1960’s there was an outbreak of science fiction written by amateurs who used already developed and idolized characters – those from Star Trek were favorites – from there came the term fan fiction. However, with the advent of the internet and the ease putting closet storytelling urges out in the public, this trend has boomed. However, fan fiction is not new. People have been piggy-backing on existing stories ever since stories existed.

One of the techniques to use with students struggling with the relevance of pre-modern literature is the fan fiction assignment.

They create a short fictional piece based on one major character and the setting used in a particular piece of literature. In order to do this, students have to study the character and setting (Writing Plan). Then, they need to identify a conflict that the character might actually become involved in that leads to a series of events, resulting in a climax and resolution.  Once these this plan is completed, students have the information needed to complete a short (750-1500 word) fan fiction.

If we have been studying a quantity of older classic literature I usually let them choose their favorite selection. Make it optional to imitate the style, diction and tone of the original piece.  Although I request this somewhat difficult task as an added challenge for additional points. However, doing it does help students begin to grasp how to analyze the effect of these elements in literature.

Writing Plan (Fan fiction)

Main character

Nationality, age, gender

Appearance

Position/job

Two personality characteristics

Likes and dislikes

Introduce setting

Approximate time (year, era) Specific time (month, day) and location  (house, city, country)

Describe appearance of setting

Parts of plot

Conflict

Event 1

Event 2

Climax

Conclusion

Often I share with students an example of an archaic fan fiction writer who went too far. William-Henry Ireland was enamored with the works of William Shakespeare to the point that he practiced until he could produce a reasonable copy of Shakespeare’s handwriting.  Then, he tried his hand at poetry that resembled the Bard’s and finally a play. Actually claiming the play was an original, was Ireland’s undoing. He did get by with it long enough to have the play produced. However, people quickly realized that long lost play  Ireland claimed to have found had phrases sounding like Shakespeare, but the overall quality of the drama lacked the cohesiveness the Bard’s writing.

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Talk to me

talkingThey stare at the blank paper, for the entire hour, as if somehow by staring they could force whatever vague ideas are floating around in their gray matter on to the paper. I walk by and ask “What is the matter?” The typical response, “I don’t know where to start.” I usually start by tossing out the graphic organizer.

Writing is a form of communicating, just like talking. Most of us manage to get ideas across clearly by conversation by the time we are ten. The breakdown occurs when the student must switch from verbal to more complex written form. Those that can let their ideas flow on paper, typically think in a more visual manner. Graphic organizers work for those students that have already mastered the skill of expanding one or two words into a sentence and connecting it with the next one. They are another unproductive procedure for those who still struggle with this. To move from talking to writing, students must start with a conversation.

Start with something simple, for example a personal interview.

1) Write down 5 interview questions, leaving 5 spaces after each one. Students think of five questions that they might ask of other people in order to get to know them better. Then they write five questions as complete sentences on one paper, leaving spaces for five spaces in between each one (This will not be necessary if they have option to insert  text using word processor or note taking software. ) Often the first question will not give them adequate detail, they will need to create additional questions after the first interview.

2) Interview another person using these 5 questions and record answers on a separate paper. Pair students that struggle with those that are more proficient writers. Also because the point of the exercise is to learn about another person, do not let them interview their friends. They also need leave at least 5 spaces after each answer – just like on the question sheet. (Again not necessary with use of a computer or mobile devise.) If they ask about the need for the new paper and spaces tell them:

They should write down answers so that they stand alone without the questions.

They will need to create more questions and write down more information from a second interview.

3) Person being interviewed checks to ensure the accuracy and completeness of the answers as they are written. If the student recording the interview misquoted the person, the student must correct the answer.

4) Create at least three more questions that elaborate on each initial question.  Students often have a hard time adding extra details, because they do not know how to elaborate before they have basic information. If they are not forced to elaborate, many will stick with the basic information. For example, if a student asked “What is your favorite food?” the  answer would be one word “Pizza.” Additional questions might be:

What is your favorite kind of ___?

Where is the best place to buy ____?

Why do you like their ____?

If you make ___ yourself, how do you do make it?

When did you first realized that you liked _____?

New questions can be developed using the “who, what, where, when, how and why” variations.

5) Repeat the interview process using these new questions. Each student asks second set of questions , writing down everything said under the appropriate answer. Then, the other student checks for accuracy and completeness.

6) Sit down and talk with the students. Have them read the answers without the questions.  Ask if they make sense, and how they would change the answer to make sense. Then, students write edits on their interview notes in order to make the answers into sentences.

7) Creating a paper organized according to paragraphs. The student leaves the first four to five lines blank (depending on the size of their handwriting) for the introduction. They include the information from all answers on that topic in sentence form. Then they choose the sentence that most clearly summarizes the topic and underline it. If there is not a sentence that works for a topic sentence, they must create one. This is repeated for each paragraph.

8) Students review each others’ rough drafts to and create introduction and conclusion. They need to discuss parts that are not clear and what grabs their attention. This helps each student find the most interesting or important bit of information about the student that they interviewed to use for an two or three sentence introduction. They also discuss what they learned overall and use this to write a similar length conclusion to summarize the interview.

9) Review the paper for writing fluency and word choice. Students should read their papers aloud to another partner – not the one that they interviewed. Then, the other student tells them which parts are confusing, out of order or repetitive.

10) Edit for spelling and usage errors. If students struggle with this I will underline spelling errors in red, usage errors or awkward language in green, and wrong words in blue. Then they must figure out how to correct the errors before correcting and copying their paper one final time.

Creating content is not always simple for students. They need distinct steps for writing: Determining sub-topics in a topic, finding out basic information on these sub-topics, researching supporting details, adding the details, organizing the information by paragraphs, and putting the entire paper into an organized. There are far more steps spent on the rough draft than the rest of the paper because this method focuses on the content that goes into it.

Resist the temptation to rush the process. So often we expect students to move directly from twenty or so words on a graphic organizer into a 200 word rough draft that only needs a little polishing. Students will have to repeat this procedure more than once using a variation of topics to master the process. This procedure can be used with almost any type of documentary, informational or persuasive paper.

With the increase in texting and chatting, the people tend to write in the same haphazard manner as they talk. Students that can take what is said and put it into clear, descriptive and organized writing will have a definite advantage.

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